


Sorrow and Regret

by TechnologicalNoiz



Category: Fallen Hero Series - Malin Rydén, Fallen Hero: Rebirth (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, badthingshappenbingo, not as angsty as some of my other things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 14:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19477666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnologicalNoiz/pseuds/TechnologicalNoiz
Summary: It hurts him. You know it does. You want it to. You can feel it like a slap to the face, ice water poured over his head.





	Sorrow and Regret

You storm into the apartment like a hurricane, Chen right at your heels. There was a shooting. You jumped into the way of a civilian, a bullet grazing your shoulder. It probably wouldn't have hit them but you didn't want to take that chance.

“What were you thinking?” Chen is angry, furious that you would be so reckless. You could have died. And he can't afford to lose you, not again. You can’t handle that truth so you lash out, like you always do.

“What makes you think I was! And why do you even care! You’ve left me to die once so why not do it again!” That's not fair. You know it's not.

It hurts him. You know it does. You want it to. You can feel it like a slap to the face, ice water poured over his head. “I didn’t-”

“Then why did you stop looking for me?” You voice breaks. You grip his shirt tightly in both hands, begging, desperate. “Why the hell did you leave me there?! Why did you let them take me?” A sob rips through you before you can stop it. You drop your head. You can’t look at him anymore.

“I’m… sorry.” His hands rest carefully on your shoulders. You want to slap him, punch him, hate him for abandoning you. You are hurting. Your nerves raw. Your knees buckle. He pulls you into his arms, sliding down with you to the floor holding your tight as you crumble to dust. 

They were your friends. Your allies. The people who were supposed to have your back in a pinch, but when you needed them the most they didn't show up. You will never recover from that pain. All you can do is learn to live with it. An angry cinder burn a hole in your chest. It too late for apologies to mean anything.

***

Seven years have gone by but not a single day has passed where you didn't think of him. His smile. His laugh. The mischievous sparkle in his eyes when he is about to so something stupid. The subtle jabs as the two of you fought. You may not have gotten along in the past but you worked well together. You always have.

You have missed him more than you realised now that he is back in your life. He has the capacity to rip your heart out, leaving a bleeding gaping hole in its place. You hope that he won't, but deep down you know that he will. You hold him close. His shoulders shake, sobs ripped from him as if dragged out by a hook, barbed wire tearing into soft flesh. An old, festering wound ripped open, refusing to heal.

Abandoned and alone.

You regret giving up on him. You regret not listening all those years ago. You tell yourself it's because Heartbreak messed you up, and it did. But that is only an excuse. You made a calculated decision to ignore his voice, to stop looking. 

Gently you reach your hand up to pet his hair. "I'm sorry," you whisper. You know that it's too late. That it would be justified if he could never forgive you. And yet you hope he will. You don't want to lose him. You could have. Earlier today when the idiot rushed into the fray without any form of protection. You got angry. But in reality you were scared. "I can't lose you. Not again." He clings closer breath coming in ragged gasps as he attempts to calm himself to no avail. You didn't realise just how bad he was hurting. He hides his pain well, behind a facade of tired indifference.

"Chen," he croaks, choked out between sobs, "don't leave me." His voice is small and broken, terrified.

You hold him tight. "I won't." You kiss the top of his head carefully whispering to him that it's going to be alright. And it is. At least for the moment.


End file.
